Nothing without you
by Quintessence88
Summary: Jessica and Harvey are finally together! Established relationship. How are they adjusting to this new change? Set around season 3 or later, in any case Harvey is already name partner and Darby is out of the scene.
1. Chapter 1

**I've been in love with this ship since day one (yes, I do know Harvey is with Donna right now, don't remind me) because to me the chemistry, the banter, the feelings, the sexual tension made Jessica and Harvey perfect for each other so… I wrote a ff of my own. I've read a lot of "will they-wont-they" stories but I found none about them in an established relationship so I decided to go for it. Let me know what you think, please. It might a multi-chapters stories, it's up to you!**

Chapter 1

The heavy covers created a small cocoon around her that made her feel warm and protected. Jessica blinked sleepily, a strong arm was wrapped around her waist possessively, her man's body pressed against hers so much she could feel his breath on her neck stirring all those sensations and dirty thoughts. Their relationship was still new like it was their sleeping together but she knew him too well not to tease him a little, not to know how his body betrayed him every single time when it was about her… the movement of her hips against his caused a low growl and a playful bite on her shoulder.

"You're awake"  
"Looks like I'm not the only one…"

As if answering to her indirect question he grounded his hard cock against her back. Harvey Specter, the best closer of New York, was still disheveled after a long night of sleep, but very much alert of what it was going on around him: his hands started rooming over her body, under her silk nightie in order to touch her skin, to feel her underneath his fingers, to stir every single sensation up.  
I've never wanted anyone the way I want you he whispered in her ear tracing it with his tongue, his hungry mouth traced a burning path on her already heated skin leaving kisses on her neck while his hand reached between her legs finding her hot and ready for him.  
Harvey Specter was cocky, arrogant and pretended to be - not only the best at his job - but also in bed and from their first time together, Jessica Pearson had to admit that what made him soo good was another great weapon in his arsenal, his voice. The way he used his baritone voice against her always left her breathless and shivering, he seemed to touch places in her that no other man with only the body had ever had and he knew that, he knew her weakness.

"Harvey…"  
"What do you want, Jessica?"  
He punctuated his question curving his fingers inside her touching that elusive spot that drove her insane. She moaned loudly.  
"You didn't answer baby" he smirked against her neck "Tell me, what do you want?"

"Harvey…"  
"I know you're close but if you don't answer me I'm afraid I'll have to do this…"  
He retracted his hand from between her legs "Harvey, what the hell?"

He turned her around so that Jessica was on her back looking directly at him when he sucked his three fingers coated with her juices inside his mouth. She bit her lips unconsciously and before she realized it he kissed her with all he got, pushing his tongue inside her mouth giving her a taste of herself. Jessica wrapped her arms around his neck luring him to her, opening her inviting legs to him until they became one: the sensation of him filling her was one of Jessica's favorite, sometimes even better than the orgasm itself, it was something emotional not just physical, it wasn't the result of hormones relished after their high, it made her feel connected to the man she loved in the best possible way.  
Harvey gave her time to adjust fixing his gaze on her: eyes closed, lips slightly open, her pulse beating erratically. That amazing creature was his.

"You're gorgeous"

Something in his voice made her open her eyes again, that subtle crack conveying all his emotions because no matter how rough sex could be, how dirty his talk were to turn her on, love was always part of it.

"I love you" she caressed his face

"I love you more"

He kissed her fiercely starting to move in a relentless yet slow way, the same which drove her mad wanting more, needing more but he wasn't going to give it to her so easily, he loved when she begged, when she moaned his name in plea. Harvey remembered the first time they slept together, he took his good time with her trying to memorize each single inch of her skin, each spot that made her sigh or moan, or call his name and after two months of relationship he still thought she was an enigma he'd never solve, the most beautiful mystery in his life.  
The light scratching of her nails on his back brought him back to reality…

"What are you thinking?" she asked worried

"I was thinking about our first time"  
"Good memories?" she smirked

"Great memories and it's getting better and better each time"

He kissed her again and again, never getting enough of her, sucking her pulse point even if he knew he'd leave a hickey, just because he could, because he liked marking his territory, marking her as his.  
Harvey increased his pace until the only sounds in the room were the slap of their hips and their moans, he knew Jessica was close by the way she arched herself against him so his hand sneaked between their bodies rubbing her clit a few times, pushing her to fall over the edge with his name on her lips. Looking at her like that, in the throes of passion, reaching her peak because of him, hearing her whisper his name over and over made it worth all those years of waiting, of aching, of loving her thinking she didn't feel the same because she was there in his arms now and it was like everything finally made sense. He let her ride the waves of her high before giving in to his own desire, letting the pleasure shake his world and losing himself in her.

"Hi"  
"Good morning" he kissed her nose Jessica laughed

"Good morning indeed"  
"There's no better way to start a day than this, with you"  
"I agree"

Harvey rolled over taking her with him so she could lay on his chest. He knew how much Jessica loved basking in the afterglow - even if she wouldn't have ever admit it - keeping their emotional connection alive even when the physical one had to be broken and Harvey himself has started appreciating it only since he was with her: Jessica was like a drug, he was addicted to her so he'd have taken all chances he could to keep her close.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

"I was thinking about last night" she chuckled "You looked like a petulant child who didn't have his favorite toy to play with"  
"Actually I had my favorite toy…"  
"You're an ass!"  
"If I remember correctly, when we arrived home you didn't give me time to reach the bedroom…" he bit her earlobe

"You teased me all night, actually I don't even know why I didn't take you in the limo"  
"Jessica Pearson!" he faked shock

"As if you wouldn't have wanted it…"  
"Oh I definitely would have" he kissed her neck "You were stunning last night, all eyes were on you"

"There were only a pair of eyes I wanted on me and you know that"

The previous night Jessica dragged Harvey to one of those pompous charity galas she usually attended, it wasn't the first time he was her date in these occasions so nobody gave it much of attention but it was black tie event and she was wearing a backless silk long gown that made all heads turn in the room. Jessica was a very self-conscious woman, she acknowledged her beauty and the effect she had on men so it wasn't strange for her to attract any kind of stares every time she entered a room, especially if dressed to kill.  
Deep down Harvey was jealous, even if he wasn't the kind of man who would have made a scene in front of other people, because he was aware that part of the job was smiling and socializing in order to get new clients and Jessica was a master of that; the unsolved issues with his mother were always a grey could on him, especially since they started their relationship: that part of him has never felt the urge to come out before because his heart has always belonged to the only woman he thought was unavailable to him, Jessica. She tried to reassure him with small gestures she was fully committed to him, to their relationship and she didn't want anyone else.

"Mhmm I'm so not used to sleep in" she sighed

"Don't I know? Every day I woke up in an empty bed"  
She detected a bitter tone in his voice and in a matter of seconds the conversation turned from light to serious

"Does it bother you?"  
"As matter fact yes, it does"

"You had never told me before" she looked for his eyes "I've never meant to make you feel bad"  
"It's okay"  
"No, it's not. Harvey, I'm an early riser, I like going to the office early to start my day, it has nothing to do with us"  
"I know"  
"Do you?" she smiled  
"I'd like to wake up with you in arms sometimes"  
"So let's compromise: you're going to move your alarm a little bit earlier…"  
He pulled her on his lap cutting her off with a kiss "And you're going to move yours later"  
"Who says you're the best closer in New York?!" she joked  
"Who says that?" he started tickling her "Who says that?"  
"Harvey stop! Stop"  
They laughed and kissed until they found entangled in each other making love again. Days off weren't so bad after all…

 **Please leave a comment!** **:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue this story but then... I just can't help myself, I do love these two together and I'm so exicted they're going to work together again in the spin-off! I do hope there're still some Jarvey fans out there, this is for you! Reviews are always welcome**

Harvey and Jessica spent the day in bed cuddling, watching tv and eating take out from boxes. Who would have thought that Jessica Pearson could be so laid back and carefree in private? She was seated between Harvey's legs who was feeding her an egg roll, sheets were wrapped around them and the smell of sex was still lingering in the room.

"Admit it, you want me to get fat, don't you?" she reprimanded him "Too much chinese food lately"  
"It's not my fault if you made it impossible for me to leave this bed"  
"Seriously?" she raised an eyebrow  
He smirked raising his eyebrows  
She shook her head smiling "Oh by the way, we've my niece's christening tomorrow"  
"Do we really have to go?" he whined  
"Of course we do, I'm the God-mother!"  
"Wouldn't you prefer to spend the day with me, _in bed_ , like today?"  
"As much as I'm enjoying this day off we have more important matters to attend to"  
"Are you worried about how you're going to walk in your high heels tomorrow? Or _if_ you're going to be able to walk at all…?" he bit her earlobe  
"You give yourself too much credit" she sighed  
"Really? Do you want me to prove that to you… again?" he smirked  
"I'm serious Harvey, I really need to be at that christening and you should come with me like any normal boyfriend would"  
"You used that excuse last night when you brought me to that gala"  
"And I think you liked the way the evening ended…"  
"I did" he kissed her "That's why like any normal boyfriend I will accompany you"  
"Good boy" she patted his chest  
"Good man" he corrected her  
Harvey hated when she addressed him like that, he knew she was just mocking him but he couldn't stand the idea of her diminishing his "position" in their relationship or maybe it simply reminded him when he was _just_ "the mail boy" and nothing else for her. Jessica turned in his arms and kissed him sweetly as if she could read his mind and wanted to soothe him. When she started dating Harvey she couldn't imagine the underlined insecurities he had, he always looked super confident, cocky, arrogant but she realized that was a mask he wore at work, his personal life was something different, especially when it came to her.  
She lightly bit his lower lip smiling and he smiled back "What do I have to do with you?"  
"Just take me as I am"  
"I do" he kissed her again "You want to go out for dinner?"  
"Actually yes, I'd like to. I wanted to try that new sushi restaurant downtown"  
"Okay, let's shower together, save some water, you know for the planet…"  
"You're such an ecologist!" she chuckled and walked naked towards the bathroom enjoying his hungry stare on her

The following morning Harvey, already impeccable dressed, was staring at his beautiful girlfriend getting ready. It was early Spring in New York and the temperature was still low even if the first flowers have started to blossom. Jessica was walking around the room in a lace set and sheer black thigh-highs that made very hard for him to keep his hands to himself: the day before she made very clear how important it was for her to be at the christening so he didn't even try to make them late. She put on a burgundy sheath dress with an intricate pattern of lace that from the collarbone enveloped her arms, slipped in her black patent leather Louboutins and turned around so he could zip her dress. His fingers brushed lightly her skin raising goosebumps until the zipper was all the way up, then he moved her hair on her other shoulder placing a kiss on her neck.

"You're so beautiful"  
"Thanks baby. Are you ready to go?"  
"I am if you are" "Good, let's go then"  
"Randy's waiting for us downstairs"

Jessica grabbed her niece's present and they left. During the car ride their hands were entwined on his thigh and he was brushing his thumb on her palm lost in his thoughts, Jessica squeezed his hand a little in order to get his attention.

"Everything okay?"  
"Yes, I was just distracted"  
"We should be almost there. When we're inside, I'll have to fill some paperworks but you can have a seat, the ceremony should start soon and it won't last long, don't worry" she smiled  
"It's okay" he kissed her quickly

Once inside the church, Jessica and Harvey greeted her sister Rhonda with her brother-in law Michael, then she introduced him to some of the people already there before following Rhonda to the priest. Rhonda was ten years younger than Jessica and they had always been very close, so it hasn't been strange at all for her to ask Jessica to be her daughter's God-mother. Before leaving Rhonda gave Harvey an appreciation look and smirked at her sister who smacked her on the arm: she had been Harvey biggest fan since the beginning, since before her sister told her they slept together and she didn't know what to do next, she had always thought there was something between the two of them but Jessica didn't want to listen insisting on the too many complications and the too many ethical boundaries to cross and yet there they were, together, in love.  
The Pearson sisters came back with baby Alyssa and priest and the ceremony started, Jessica went sitting next to Harvey for the first part before she walked to the altar. Rhonda gave her the baby instructing her on how to hold her while James, Michael's brother and the God-father, went by Jessica's side. Jessica smiled at her niece who kept babbling at her aunt trying to touch her with her chubby little hands. Harvey was mesmerized by the scene in front of him, every time he thought Jessica couldn't be more stunning she did something, something small and he fell in love with her all over again. The surge of emotion he felt in his heart made him dizzy, he had no idea she could be like that with a baby, of course Alyssa was her niece, blood of her blood, but still she was a sight to behold.

 _"Do you renounce the devil?"_

 _"I do renounce him"._

 _"And all his works?"_

 _"I do renounce them."_

 _"And all his pomps?"_

 _"I do renounce them"_

All the ritual's words were just a confused background for Harvey who couldn't stop looking at the woman he loved, Alyssa was now smiling at her slightly pulling her hair, while the priest poured the water thrice in the form of a cross on the head of the child to be baptized. The ceremony was over and all the guests left the church in order to go to the party location, Jessica, James and Rhonda with her husband were still busy with the photographer taking pictures. After the session Rhonda hugged her sister thanking her, she'd have never entrusted someone else with her daughter's life in case something happened to her or Michael, Jessica looked moved and quickly hugged her back before reaching Harvey to leave the church. The party location was at the Plaza in a room designated for the buffet with classy decorated tables. Harvey and Jessica mingled with the other guests charming everyone like they were used to, until Rhonda left Alyssa to Jessica and disappeared in the crowd.

"Hi Aly, look who's here… I want to introduce you someone, he's uncle Harvey, say hi to uncle Harvey" she moved her baby's arm miming a greeting  
"Hi Alyssa" Harvey smiled and Alyssa started smiling back moving her arms and legs happily  
"I think she likes you"  
"Who doesn't?"  
Jessica rolled her eyes "You like uncle Harvey, baby? Do you think we can keep him?"  
"Hey!" Harvey feigned to be hurt  
"Don't worry, she thinks I should keep you"  
"I didn't know you were so good with babies"  
"I'm not but she's my niece, I've seen her come into the world and we liked each other since the first moment. Didn't we, sweet baby?" she kissed her niece's cheeks

It was incredible how someone often accused to be cold and detached could coo to an infant, hold and cuddle her as if it was something she did all day. Jessica was a natural, apparently there wasn't something she couldn't do, not even when it came to babies.

"Look who's back, your mommy" Jessica said handing the baby to Rhonda  
"Have you been good, baby girl?"  
"Oh yes, she also met Harvey"  
"Uncle Harvey" Rhonda kissed Alyssa  
"She likes him, she thinks I should keep him"  
"Like mother like daughter" Rhonda laughed  
"I am here you know" Harvey intervened amused  
"We do know and I'm going to steal you for a moment. We need to talk"  
"Rhonda?" Jessica warned her  
"Oh don't worry he's going to be fine, he'll come back in one piece, I promise"

Harvey kissed Jessica on the cheek before following her sister to a quieter area of the room, Rhonda was still holding Alyssa who was about to fall asleep snuggled on her shoulder.

"Do I need to worry?" Harvey asked smiling  
"I just want to thank you for making my sister happy. I had never seen her like this, not even when she married Quentin or maybe I should say _especially_ when she married him but that's not the point. I know you chased her for a long time and I know it feels good to finally get what you want but if this is just a game for you…"  
"It's not!"  
"Do not interrupt him Specter" she faked a smile "If you hurt her I'll look for you everywhere and I'll beat your ass! You can count on that!"  
"I won't. I love her, I really do"  
"Good, so just keep doing what you're doing and welcome to the family!"  
"Thanks Rhonda"

From the other side of the room Jessica saw her sister and her man hug each other and she knew everything was alright: Rhonda had her way to do things but she meant well and she had always rooted for Harvey. Jessica smiled shaking her head, after Rhonda final approval Harvey was really part of her family now.

 **To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

Hello guys! Thanks for all your reviews, I do appreciate them and I really hope you'll keep reading and following my story! Chapter 3 is up, enjoy!

During the car ride back home Harvey looked lost in his thoughts again, he hasn't been really focused since they left his loft and even if he socialized with everyone at the party and was nice with Alyssa and Rhonda Jessica noticed he looked… weird. Something was wrong, she could sense it, has it been too much for him to meet her family? Should they have talked about that before? Jessica's parents died years ago and her sister was all she had left so she thought that cheerful day was the perfect occasion to introduce Rhonda to Harvey… did she miscalculated her actions? Was it too soon? Harvey always wanted to be present in every aspect of her life that she thought not including him could only hurt him, maybe she had been wrong. As soon as they stepped into his loft Jessica couldn't keep her mouth shut anymore.

"Harvey, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing's wrong" she cut him off before he could give her that answer "You've been quiet all day, it was as if you weren't there and I know you didn't want to come but if it was such a big deal for you, you could…"  
"It's not like that!" he shouted "Then what is it?" she threw her hands up Harvey started pacing, something was definitely bothering him but it looked like he didn't know how to say it. When he didn't answer Jessica kept talking "It was just a christening Harvey, it didn't even last long and we left 15 minutes after you talked to Rhonda, if you didn't want to meet my family you could have said something yester…"  
"God Jessica! This has nothing to do with that!"  
"Then talk to me! I don't know what's in your mind, did I do something wrong?"  
"You…" he shook his head "Please tell me" she grabbed his hands in hers Her brown eyes were so worried when they met his, he could see a lot of emotions in them: worry, fear, love, compassion. How could he tell her what was upsetting him so much? How could he tell her he wasn't ready for his own reaction to something beautiful and natural? He retracted his hands walking towards the window wall, his gaze lost in the breathtaking view. "When I saw you with Alyssa in your arms on the altar… Jessica, you were perfect and I… I couldn't stop myself from imagining what if? what if the baby was ours?"  
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" her voice was dangerously low Harvey turned around "I don't know what I'm saying, I had never thought about it before, I had never thought about having a baby but…"  
"But nothing Harvey! You've seen me with my niece and what? Did you feel the transience of life and think you need an heir?"  
"It's not about that! I don't know how to explain it"  
"Clearly! Because I can't think of any other reason you, the man who couldn't even manage to hold down a steady relationship with woman, wants to have a child now!"  
"This is unfair! I've always been waiting for you! You were and are the woman I've always wanted, why should I have settled for anything less?"  
Jessica passed a hand through her long hair frustrated "Well you clearly were waiting for the wrong one!" "What the hell are you saying?"  
"I can't give you what you want!" she shouted "You don't know that"  
"You want a baby and I'm too old for that!"  
"I think you just want me to believe that!"  
"Excuse me?" she asked indignant "Do you even want a baby? Because you're giving me reasons why you can't, we can't but you're not speaking your mind"  
"No, I don't know, I had never thought about it before!"  
"At least you're finally being honest"  
"Harvey… a baby would change our lives, we don't have time for that, we worked 14 hours per day, we basically live at the office and don't even take vacations!"  
"We don't have to have a baby, I'm just saying that seeing you with Alyssa… you're a natural Jessica, I wish you could see yourself with my eyes"  
"She's my niece, I love her but then after cuddling her for a while I give her back to her mom, this is how it works. You have no idea of what it means taking care of an infant, the feedings, changing diapers, washing the laundry, you don't even wash your own clothes! And the sleepless nights because the baby won't sleep or because it's sick or because it's teething…"  
"We'd have all the help we need! People who would take care of the baby and everything!"  
"So this is your idea of responsibilities? Bring a baby into this world and let other people raise him/her?" "Don't be naive Jessica, we have money and the luxury of having people help us while we do our job"  
"Why is it so important for you right now? You had never even mentioned the idea before"  
"It's not important, I'm just telling you what unsettled me today. Don't you think it was shock for me to feel this way looking at you and Alyssa? To desire something I had never wanted before?"  
"I can't give you what you want Harvey and I don't want you to resent me for it in a year or two" Jessica said with a trembling voice "You should be with someone who can give you everything"  
"I don't want a baby if it's not with you! Don't you get that?"  
"I'm sorry Harvey" Jessica grabbed her coat to leave "Jessica wait!" he grabbed her arm to stop her "What do you want me to say?"  
"I just want you to consider the possibility"  
"I think I need some space" she freed her arm from his grasp "It's better if I sleep at my place tonight"  
"Don't leave…" the plea in his voice broke her heart "I'm not leaving you Harvey," she caressed his beautiful face "I just need some time. You're asking a lot, I don't even know if this is what I want" He wrapped his arms around her waist, their forehead were touching "I don't need a baby but I do need you…" Harvey kissed her with all he got tightening his arms around her, pouring everything he felt into the kiss, his unconditional love, the fear of losing her, his need for her that threatened to break him. Jessica broke the kiss needing air, her hand on his chest could feel his heart beating erratically, she just wanted to lose herself in his hug and simply forget about their conversation but she couldn't. She took a step back keeping him at arm's length before breaking their physical contact.

"I have to go" "I love you" he barely whispered "Don't forget that"

Jessica took her coat and her bag and quickly left the loft. She didn't want him to see her crying but her eyes were already watery and she didn't know if she could make it to car before the tears started falling. How could everything go so badly in only few hours? They were happy before she decided to bring him to the christening, they were in love and had everything they needed: each other and their job, the firm, their kingdom. As soon as she closed the car door and her chauffeured car drove away she started sobbing, she felt stupid and deluded, she risked so much for him, to give him a chance, the chance he had always wanted and asked for and for what? To have her heart broken. How could they go back from that? He realized he wanted a baby and no matter what he said, he couldn't take it back.  
Her phone was ringing in the purse and she knew it was him but she couldn't talk, she couldn't face him right now. Stepping into her apartment everything felt so foreign, so different. She barely had been there in the latest three months, when she and Harvey weren't at the office they spent all their free time at his loft and without her knowing it she felt a stranger in her own house. She brushed the tears off with her hands hastily pouring herself a scotch, the drink burned her throat but in some ways it was the only real contact with reality because everything looked like a horrible nightmare to her, a scary, distorted version of reality she couldn't wrap her head around to. After the first drink followed another and another, Harvey's eyes were haunting her, the plea in his voice, how he told her he loved before she left, as if it was a goodbye… she sobbed but no tear fell and the phone she put on silent mode buzzed again: twenty missed calls, seven unanswered texts and who knew how many voicemail messages unheard. How could it be so hard to let go? She kept herself in check for twenty years, how could only three months with him turn her world upside down like that? Jessica loved him like she had never loved any other man before, he was just like her, the same passion, the same fire, the same will to live their life on their terms without fitting in any box or under any label: she had never felt more loved, wanted and understood like she did with Harvey and maybe that was the reason why losing him was unacceptable to her heart. _

At the other side of the city, Harvey Specter, known womanizer and best closer of New York, was losing his mind. Seeing the woman he loved walk away completely shattered him. Jessica was his everything, nothing else mattered if he didn't have her, not the firm, the job, the money or the power, nothing! His worst fear - the one which at the beginning of their relationship kept him awake at night - just became reality… he lost her, she left and his entire world fell apart. He bitterly laughed at himself, that was karma, payback for the hearts he had broken in his life, for the meaningless fucks which gave him physical satisfaction but nothing more, for all the women who meant nothing to him because he was in love with the only one who didn't want him. She said she needed space but Harvey knew what it meant, Jessica was going to build her walls up again, to shut him out in order to protect herself, her heart and how could he blame her? He dropped that fucking bomb on her while he could have handled it differently but he was so overwhelmed, so shaken by his own feelings he didn't think about hers and that was his misstep, his biggest mistake. Having a child wasn't a priority to him and when she accused him of wanting an "heir" she couldn't be more wrong, he didn't care about legacy because the name on the wall and all the money of the world couldn't buy what he had with Jessica: all the years of knowing each other, their deep bond, their friendship before and undeniable, unconditional, earth-shattering love then. Jessica wasn't the kind of woman one could get over, she was so much under his skin and in his heart, in every fiber of his being and he couldn't imagine living without her. Suddenly it was as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, it was hard even breathing let alone thinking clearly especially with alcohol clouding his judgement. Harvey run a hand through his hair anxious, he couldn't help himself dialing her number repeatedly and every time she didn't answer and it went to the voicemail at least he could hear her voice just for few seconds. How pathetic was that? How did he manage to hit rock bottom? Harvey crumbled to the floor, the phone in one hand and the bottle of scotch in the other. It was ridiculous, Harvey wasn't prepared for their last kiss to be the last, for the last time he touched her or they made love to be the last, he wracked his brain trying to remember every single detail, he should have been more focused but how could he know? How could he imagine he'd have screwed up so badly? He had always thought that if they ever broke up was because she came to her senses and realized she didn't really want to be with him but with someone worthy, someone better, yes maybe the reason could also have been because he'd have screwed up but not because of a baby for sure. If someone had told him before, he'd have laughed so hard to wipe out the crazy guy who could come up with something like that. Harvey just wanted her back, he'd have done everything to hold her in his arms again, he usually respected her boundaries and her space but the circumstances seemed so different now, everything seemed so definitive and he couldn't accept it, he couldn't go back to what they were before, working with her like nothing happened, like he didn't know the taste of her kisses or the way she moaned his name while she came, he couldn't do that. Harvey unlocked his phone and scrolled the pictures in his album… Jessica asleep barely covered by thin sheets, Jessica laughing in black and white and his favorite: the two of them together on his balcony, his arms were wrapped around her from behind and they were looking at each other smiling. The shot had been taken by Rachel during one of the last dinners they held at his place with everybody, it was a no pose picture and she had been good enough to capture the moment, their perfect moment. His eyes got blurry and a single tear landed on the screen. After all they had been through in the past twenty years they deserved better, they deserved everything, it couldn't end like that because of a misunderstanding, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut, he'd have fought for her, for what they had until his last breath.

To be continued… 


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello guys, I'm back with chapter 4! I just noticed the previous chapters' formatting wasn't quite right and it might have made it difficult to read them, I'm trying to fix it! I know both Harvey and Jessica might look like very OOC in my story but I'm just trying to picture something it never happened and how they could have been if they were in a relationship. Reviews are always welcome and bad ones won't make me stop writing anyway so save them! :)**

The following day Jessica Pearson was at the office at 8am sharp, her black patent leather Louboutins heels clicked on the hall's marble floor announcing her entrance. Her make-up was right in place, flawless like always, was hiding the sleepless night of tears and pain she went through. The couture white suit she was wearing, with asymmetrical jacket and tube skirt, fit her like a second skin… white always made her feel strong, confident, untouchable and that was what she really needed to face the day and Harvey.

The closer arrived late as usual and he looked like hell with bloodshot eyes and pale, sunken face. He headed directly to his office asking Donna to cancel all his meetings and not to pass him any calls for the day, she tried to talk to him only to be yelled to mind her own damn business.

Donna knew Harvey so well not to notice that something was definitely off, also Jessica and Harvey were inseparable and that morning he didn't even stop by her office to greet her. Knocking at Jessica's office door, Donna waited for her to invite her in and she closed the door behind her.

"Hello Donna, what can I do for you?" Jessica raised her head from the papers she was reading

"I thought to come and talk you about Harvey, I don't know what happened to him but he's not himself today…"

"Harvey had a rough night," she smiled politely "it's better if you leave him be today"

"What happened?" Donna asked and when she got no answer suddenly everything became clear "You two broke up. Yes, he looks like hell and you… your eyes are red too and…"

"Enough!" Jessica hissed "This is none of your business. I'd really appreciate if you could go back to your desk and do the job we pay you for"

"I'm just trying to help"

"Well, thank you for your help but it's better if you stay out of it"

Donna turned on her heels and left the office. Jessica sighed, she hasn't thought about having to deal even with Donna, she already had the firm, the clients and even Harvey to worry about. Harvey… would he have been able to be professional despite their current situation? They were masters at compartmentalize, they had always been but they were in too deep now and everything got messy.

Part of her wanted to reach out, to go and talk to him but it was better if she kept her distance, it was better if they took some time apart to think, she didn't want him to rush back to her forcing himself to forget what was important to him, she wouldn't have forgotten herself if it had happened and neither would he.

The train of her thoughts was interrupted by someone walking into her office…

" _Mister Giannopoulous is here, Harvey"_ Donna said from the inter-phone

" _I asked you to cancel all my meetings!"_ Harvey barked back

" _Apparently he's not here for you…"_

Harvey jumped from his leather chair and headed straight to Jessica's office. He didn't need more explanations from Donna, he knew exactly what that meant and the scene in front of his eyes made his blood boil: Giannopoulos was gallantly kissing Jessica's hand who was smiling at him, using that flirty, little smile she reserved to charm clients. _Fuck_ , she was beautiful! Beautiful wasn't enough to describe her, she was a vision after the horrible night he had and white always suited her, it enhanced her beauty. Why the hell Giannopoulos was there and what did he want from her? He was about to storm into her office when Donna stopped him in his tracks.

"You don't wanna do that"

"Get out of my way" he hissed

"Harvey, listen to me! Whatever happened between you and Jessica you're going to make things worse!"

"What the hell is he doing here? He is **my** client, not hers!"

"I know" she grabbed his arm bringing back to his office "Making a jealous scene in front of him isn't going to fix anything. Let me be your eyes and ears, I'm going to find out why he's here but you have to calm down!"

He run a hand through his hair nervous "Fine, go and do that!"

Pacing back and forth wasn't making him less angry or jealous. He knew Tony and he did know he always had a thing for Jessica, he tried to get her in bed for years but since they got together he kept his distance so it was strange for him to show up exactly the day after their big fight.

Tony Giannopoulos was the kind of man Harvey always feared Jessica would have left him for, the fact that she always rejected him should have given him a hint she wasn't interested, that he wasn't what she wanted but Harvey could be really blind when Jessica was involved, blind by love and jealousy.

Donna came back bringing the news that apparently Giannopoulos came to invite Jessica to a special party held at his new club downtown the night after, she didn't know if he invited her _alone_ or if such invitation was also extended to Harvey. How dared he? He went there without an appointment and he invited _his woman_ to a damned club probably without him! Donna wasn't fast enough that time and Harvey rushed into Jessica's office shutting the door closed.

"Good morning Harvey"

Jessica tried to sound cool and collected even if the only sight of him made her heart ache

"Do you screw him?" he yelled

"What?" she asked confused

"Tony Giannopoulos! Do you screw him?"

"Are you out of your damn mind?" she raised from her chair and came to stand in front of him

"He just came here without an appointment to invite you to a party that has nothing to do with work!"

"Are you listening to yourself? You sound crazy!"

"I'm his fucking lawyer and he came to see **you**! You think I don't know he had always wanted you? You think I'm stupid?"

"It's just invitation! And he invited you too"

"I saw you two together before, you looked cozy when he was kissing your hand!"

"Tony has always been like that with me, it's just politeness"

"Not since we've started dating. Do not try to fool me!"

"This is not something we should discuss at work, it's highly inappropriate!" she towered

"Since when do you care? I can't even count the times I fucked on that desk"

She slapped him so hard to shut him up for a moment.

"Don't you ever try to treat me like one of your sluts again!" she hissed "Get out"

"Jessica, I…"

"I said get out!" 

* * *

It followed another night of scotch and unanswered calls. That time Harvey did really have something to make himself forgive for and he didn't know how to do that: Jessica wasn't the kind of woman who would have fallen for flowers and chocolate, she was so mad at him that earning her forgiveness wouldn't have been an easy task. Banging at her door at 3am in the morning wasn't the solution for sure and since the security knew Harvey they let him pass without informing Jessica first.

"Jessica open the door, please! Open this damn door!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed

"I came to apologize, you're not answering your phone"

"I don't want to talk to you right now!"

"Let me come in please"

"Harvey don't make me call security!" she threatened

"Just five minutes please"

"Have you looked at yourself? You're drunk and miserable, this is not the right moment to talk"

"And you think you look better?"

Jessica sighed running a hand through her long messy hair

"Look, I asked you time and you need to respect that"

"I'm losing my mind without you… just let me explain"

"Fine, five minutes then I'm calling security" she opened the door wide to let him in

Jessica's apartment looked pristine, nothing was out of place if it wasn't for her shoes scattered on the floor and the empty bottle of wine on the crystal table.

 _She had been drinking too_ … he thought but he didn't dare to voice his thoughts worried she might have thrown him out. The silence in the room was deafening, they looked like two strangers thrown in the same space and being too shy to talk to each other. Harvey cleared his voice, she was Jessica, _his Jessica_ and he had to find the way to explain himself, to fix things before it was too late.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry I keep screwing up, first the idea of the baby and then my jealousy. You've to understand that seeing you with _that piece of shit_ …"

"Harvey…"

"No, listen to me. I'm far from perfect but I love you and I take everything I said and I did in the last 36 hours back if it means you come back to me because you're the only one I need…" his voice was shaking

"This is not only about what happened today. Parenthood is an important decision you can't rush just because you think you're losing me"

"You don't understand, I don't need time to decide, I can't lose you…" he had to swallow to continue "I'm an ass and I know you deserve better, so much better but I love you more than I can explain. If I have you, I don't want anything else, no baby or anything…"

"You say that now"

"Tell me what I've to do to make you believe me and I will!"

"Harvey, I saw the look on your face yesterday when you were sharing your feelings about it"

"I've seen babies in women's arms before Jessica, it was you… _**you**_ made me feel like that, you made me think of the possibility"

"I don't want you to regret it, I don't want you to hate me for it"

"I could never hate you, never…"

Harvey got closer and gently brushed her cheek, Jessica closed her eyes almost leaning on his touch. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her and magically go back to what they were before everything started falling apart but he knew he couldn't push. She sighed and put some distance between them.

"Harvey, I really appreciate you come and talk about our issues but…"

"I miss you, I don't know how to function without you"

"I miss you too but you need to learn to control yourself Harvey, you can't react like that every time a man is around me"

"Tony is not like _any other man_ "

"It doesn't matter, he's a client and he's going to be around. You need to start keeping yourself in check"

"Fine. Can I at least bring you to dinner tomorrow night?"

She sighed and smiled a little "What part of needing time and distance you don't understand?"

His cocky smile came back "You know I'm stubborn and even if you don't believe me I do know what I want…"

"Promise me you're going to think about what I said"

"Only if you go to dinner with me" he smirked

"This is not a negotiation!" she said amused

"I'm a closer after all"

"You can't close a closer, Harvey"

"Watch me"

And there they were, the same Jessica and Harvey, the same bantering and teasing, the same chemistry, the same care and love. Some things would have never changed.

"I'm leaving, you need to sleep and rest but you promise me a dinner tomorrow night. I'll take your word for it"

"I know" she smiled "Goodnight Harvey"

"Night Jess…" he was about to add something, it was on the tip of his tongue but he simply shook his head heading to the door "Night"

That unsaid "I love you" kept lingering in the silent room.

 **To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello guys, I'm back with chapter 5! Sorry if you had to wait long for this but between work and all the rest I didn't have time. This is a very important chapter for me and you'll find all my considerations about it at the end of it! Enjoy and reviews! :)**

 **PS: Thanks to Mario Biondi and his "Something that was beautiful" that helped me write the chapter!**

Jessica spent a good amount of time deciding what to wear that day for the dinner with Harvey. She had no idea where they were going or what he planned for them but she didn't want to give him the impression she was dressing up for him so she picked a dress he had already seen: a long sleeves fire red dress with a hybrid square neckline which looked tailored exactly for her and her beloved fur he seemed to appreciate.

At the office they looked civil and professional handling the business as usual, only an attentive observer could notice a hint of awkwardness between the two of them, mostly from Jessica's part.

The day came to an end much before she expected and the knock on her office's door and that familiar smile let her know it was time to go. Jessica packed her things and they both left the building, Randy was waiting for them downstairs ready to drive them whenever they pleased.

"So… where are we going?" Jessica asked unable to contain her curiosity

"It's a surprise"

"I do hope I've the right attire for what you have in mind"

"You are always dressed to perfection" he smiled

"Thanks Harvey"

The view outside the window started looking familiar and it was immediate for Jessica to understand where they were heading: his loft. Harvey saw the change in her features and immediately tried to explain…

"Jessica… I'm not trying to push, I swear. I just want to have a good time with you in a place where we can talk without interruptions"

"After what happened the last time…" she hesitated

"We can go whenever you want, you decide"

"Maybe you're right, at least we're not in public there and we can talk"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable"

"It's okay," she smiled "I'm okay"

Randy parked the car in front of Harvey's building and in a heartbeat they were in the elevator heading to his apartment. He took a moment to look at Jessica, how stunning she was with those fired lips and the fur hugging her frame, she was perfection to him no matter what.

"You're stunning" he whispered

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself, Specter"

There was tension in the air even both parties were trying their best to be at ease.

When Harvey opened the door letting her in first, Jessica was at loss of words: the entire apartment's floor was covered in small candles which created quite the atmosphere, the living room table was arranged for two with the finest pieces of silverware and the wine was already in the cooler.

"Do I have to thank Donna for this?" she tried to lighten the mood

"It was all my idea, I just had someone else bring it to life for me"

"Very thoughtful of you"

"I'm glad you like it, please" he took her fur and the bag and invited her to the table moving the chair for her "Have a seat, dinner should be ready soon"

Jessica took a moment to collect herself, being at the loft again brought back all different kind of feelings but she tried to focus on the moment, on Harvey, on the beautiful surprise he made her… she really could see how much he was trying to prove her she was what he wanted.

Dinner was served and after the wine was poured the conversation flowed freely. Harvey was captured by the sound of her laugh, by the way she moved her hair behind her ear or how she lowered her gaze when she was embarrassed… it was like seeing her for the first time, memorizing every single of her movements, every expression on her face, he was enraptured.

After even the dessert was served, low jazz music started playing in background. Harvey wanted to keep the moment alive, he wasn't ready to face reality, to see her slipping through his fingers again.

"Would you like to dance?" he stretched his hand

She smiled shaking her head slightly

As soon as he took her in his arms her perfume hit his nostrils. It was the first time in two days he was able to hold her again, to feel her warm body against his and he wanted to hold on for dear life.

The playlist shuffle suddenly changed the song and a deep intense voice filled the room…

 _So you take off without warning nothing to say,_ _I_ _guess. As I sit here through the morning,_ _me and the mess you left._

Harvey felt her stiffen in his embrace but she didn't break it. That was not what he had in mind when he invited her to dance but he wouldn't have stopped for anything in the world because having her in his arms was all he needed.

 _So_ _we wander on our way_ _and it's life as usual_ _w_ _ith our pockets full of something that was beautiful_ _._ _A love that just fell through. So I wander on my way now without you_

Harvey closed his eyes just letting his suffering pouring from the singer's words. He held her close keeping her face in the crook of his neck as if he was preparing himself to the possibility it could be the last time, as if he was acknowledging the fact that he could lose a piece of himself.

 _Then_ _the_ _re_ _'s me and how I'm looking out for my little heart,_ _o_ _h and how I had you with me how did it drift this far?_

They swayed on the music, each word was an inner struggle for both of them, like twisting a knife inside an open, bleeding wound but they couldn't help themselves hopelessly dancing on the saddest portrait of what was happening in their relationship.

 _Just a little stiff embrace, and then life as usual_ _w_ _ith our pockets full of something that was beautiful_ _a_ _nd all the world we knew... Now I wander on my way now without you._

Jessica really felt those words running deep into her bones. Could it really be _just_ 'something that was beautiful' what happened between them? Something to already place in the past? Her heart refused to accept it, she could feel it clench in her own chest so much that she almost couldn't breath, she…

"Harvey, I can't…"

"Jessica…"

"Turn this damn radio off!" she yelled

And he did it following her command

"Is this your way of punishing me?" she asked

"What you mean?"

"This song"

"The playlist shuffled on its own, I didn't plan for this to happen"

"What are we doing Harvey?" she run a hand through her hair

"I just wanted to have a good time with you"

"Well, we're definitely doing it wrong!"

"I don't want us to be like the couple of the song, I want us to fix it!"

"I don't know how to go back to the way we were before" she sighed "I really want to but I don't know how. It's as if the bubble burst and we're dealing with the pieces left trying to put them back together"

"Do you still love me?"

"What kind of question is that?" she asked annoyed

"Answer me"

"Of course I do"

"We'll find a way then. Being honest with you the other day can't be the reason for losing you Jess"

"No but it brought us to a crossroad"

"I disagree. It's a matter of priorities and you are mine, I'm doing everything I can to show this but I can't keep repeating myself: if you choose not to believe me it's up to you then"

Harvey's voice died in a whisper, he knew what that would have meant in Jessica's ears but he just couldn't go on like that anymore.

"Is this an ultimatum?" she whispered

"I know what I want, do you? Because I don't think the problem here is wanting a baby or my jealousy anymore"

"Are you implying I am the problem?" she hissed

"No, I'm saying maybe I'm not what _you want_ anymore and I can't keep chasing you, begging you, loving you and destroying myself while I do all of this when you're so firm on your positions"

"If this is _your_ position then…"

"You won't use this excuse to make a quick exit!"

"What do you want from me, Harvey?! I'm trying to be reasonable and accept your words like a grown-up, something you still have to learn to do"

"So me fighting for us makes me still a _boy_ , huh?"

"I knew tonight was a mistake"

"I won't let you run away this time. We're going to finish this talk"

"What else do you want me to say?" she started pacing "That after twenty years I let myself go, I let myself love you freely and I got myself a broken heart now?"

"You're talking as if you made a mistake, as if _us_ was mistake!"

"You and I are very different people and…"

"Since when?" he cut her off "Since when _we are different people_ , huh? Because I tend to remember we have always been very much alike"

"I don't want a child, Harvey!" she yelled "I had never wanted it and this is the truth! Probably because I didn't have the right man by my side before but it's too late now! There's no room in my life for it"

"This is not about that"

"It sure is! It created a bridge between us, don't you see? Your fear of losing me is clouding your judgement and it's making you giving up something so important without really considering it"

"You're building a fight on something that doesn't exist! I told you I've made my decision!"

"Have you? Because there's also my future on the line here! The life I built with you, our relationship and when you tell me you're sure you don't want kids, you have to be!"

"You know what? You don't want to take a leap of faith! We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or in a year, we could be married or we could move to Paris, who knows! But you're so scared, so convinced deep down everything is going to go to ruins that you don't want to risk! You took a chance on me twice, why not a third time?"

"Because if everything fell apart I wouldn't survive…" she barely whispered, her eyes full of sad tears

"Jessica…"

"Don't." she stepped backwards walking towards glass windows showcasing the city. When she talked again she didn't face him "Harvey, I really need to be alone for a while. You say you know what you want, good for you then but I need to clear my head and decide how to proceed forward"

"I understand but I can't wait for you forever, Jessica"

She turned around and looked him in the eyes from across the room then she forced a smile "You're right. Goodbye Harvey"

That time when she grabbed her fur and purse he didn't try to stop her. 

**To be continued…**

 **Like I said at the beginning, this is an important chapter for me because I decided to portrait Jessica like I see her, like a powerful, strong woman who decides for herself without letting society or other people telling her what to do with her life, especially regarding something important like motherhood.**

 **It'd have been unreal to write Jessica wanting to have a baby with Harvey at that stage of her life, when it's clear that her job and her fulfillment as person and lawyer come first and I also think there are some compromises that you can't even do for the man you love. Having a child should be a choice, not something imposed or something you're supposed to do: we are women, not incubators, our choice to have kids should be only our own.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello guys, chapter 6 is up! This is my little early Christmas gift for all of you! Please let me know what you think, I love reading your reviews!**

The following weeks were the longest of both of their lives. Jessica was tempted to take some days off but Pearsons didn't run from their problems so she threw herself into work silently suffering for the punishment she inflicted on herself.

Harvey was professional yet cold, he didn't speak to her unless he had to and strictly for business reasons. Everybody around them noticed the sudden change, from being inseparable to almost not looking at one another in the eyes: the chill was all over the office.

In order to keep her mind off what was happening, Jessica started to go to the pool: exercising was the best way to let off the tension and the sadness.

She worked in the building so many years without knowing that there was a gym with pool dedicated to the employees at the top floor but since everybody was a workaholic there, the place was always desert especially after work hours. She grew to love those moments when she was alone and could let herself go, could be herself without having to hide how she really felt because no one was watching.

Jessica wore her underwater earphones and dove into pool, the cold water was refreshing and seemed to awaken her numb senses. Nursing a broken heart at 50 years old wasn't the same of doing it at 20 or 30, a woman was still ready to raise from her ashes, to hope and dream, to love again and she wasn't anymore. Harvey was her last love, she knew from the moment she chose to give them a chance, he was the one and she lost him.

She increased the speed of her strokes pushing her body to the limit, physical pain usually distracted her from the emotional one and the loud music in her ears gave her that push to keep going no matter how tired she was.

After so many lengths she stopped for a second to breathe but she didn't expect someone staring at her the whole time: Harvey Specter, still impeccably dressed in his three pieces suit, was seated on one of the lounge chairs right in front of the pool. Jessica sighed, the last thing she wanted was having to deal with him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked

"You are a very difficult woman to reach" he replied "You were not answering your phone"

"So what? You tracked it?" she bit back

"Let's say I've my ways"

She came out of the pool wrapping herself into the robe and taking off her cap so her long wet hair fell on her shoulders

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you"

"If it's about work it can wait until tomorrow"

She started walking towards the lockers room

"It can't wait"

She turned around visibly annoyed

"You know I didn't know we had a pool here" he looked around

"If you're here to do small talk I'm not in the mood"

"I can see that, apparently exercising isn't doing you _any good_ "

"I'll try screwing around then, I heard it's the best way"

Harvey's expression changed even if he tried to school it, jealousy was always his weak spot

"You think you can hurt me more than what you have already done?" he hissed

"Why are you here, Harvey? You're stalling"

He invaded her personal space "Are you really screwing around?"

"You have no right to ask me that!" Jessica moved backwards until her back hit the wall

"Answer me"

They were close, too close, she could feel his labored breath on her face, his sad eyes were full of anger and jealousy and suddenly he threw the caution to the wind and kissed her. Jessica knew she should have pushed him away but she just couldn't help herself falling prey of those lips that were devouring her. Their kiss escalated in matter of seconds and his hands were everywhere pushing her robe open and to the floor, touching her wet flesh, then he made her turn around and face the wall: his hungry mouth was sucking and nibbling her neck when she heard the zipper's sound echoing in the silent room, she knew what was going to happen: he moved her swimsuit aside and then he was inside her.

Jessica moaned loudly unable to contain herself, after weeks of feeling empty and lonely without him it was if her body was coming back to life again. Harvey thrusted hard starting a punishing rhythm she matched, it was maddening, crazy and earth-shattering… sex had always been great between them but that, that was different, she could feel it in every single nerve of her body and the high was so intense it almost blew her mind. When they fell over the edge Harvey held her for moment, he placed a sweet kiss at the nape of her neck before pulling out and as soon as he did the bubble burst and the cold invaded her. Jessica bent to retrieve her robe and put it on like an armor: she felt exposed, weak because of her own needs, _used_. Harvey stuffed himself back in his pants and when he finally looked at her his eyes were even sadder than before.

"I'm sorry," he whispered "I shouldn't have done that"

"I let you"

From her body language, her crossed arms and her stiff posture, Harvey could tell Jessica had her walls back on

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" he asked resigned

"You mean you fucking me against a wall because you were jealous? No, it doesn't"

"I didn't do it because I was jealous!" he snapped

"Then why? You came here to talk but ended up doing everything but that"

"I want you to tell me face to face we are over otherwise I…" he run a hand through his hair exasperated "I can't move on"

"Pretend I'm somebody else, somebody you hate" *

"I could never hate you"

It was the second time he told her and it was the truth, his love for her was so endless it could never turn into hatred.

Jessica lowered her gaze "I should go getting a shower, it's pretty cold out here"

"Go, I can wait for you"

"I don't think it's good idea"

"What did I do for you not to trust me until this point? For pushing you to throw everything away?"

She looked at him back again "We are over, Harvey"

"Tell me and mean it"

"I… I can't…"

Jessica turned on her heels and run to the lockers room leaving a sad Harvey with a small shred of hope to hold on to. 

_*I stole the sentence from my favorite ship ever: Olivia and Fitz from Scandal_

 **To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello guys, happy 2019! Chapter 7 is finally up, please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)**

"We had sex against a wall at the pool and then…"

"And then?"

"Nothing"

Jessica and Rhonda were finally able to meet and have dinner together. The previous weeks had been too crazy because of Jessica's schedule and she also really didn't feel like seeing anyone. She loved her sister, she had always been her confidant but sometimes life could be too complicated to share even with close ones.

"Why didn't you call me?" Rhonda asked "I've seen you more than a month ago at Alyssa's christening and everything was okay"

Jessica sipped her wine "Everything started falling apart _from_ that day"

"What you mean?"

She sighed "He said that seeing me with Alyssa made him think to the possibility of having a baby"

"That's great thing"

"No, it's not Rhonda and you know why…"

"You don't want kids" she finished the sentence

"No, I don't. Probably fifteen years ago would have been different but I don't think so, I was so driven, so focused on my career, on reaching the top. I had never had time for a baby"

"You didn't want to find it" her sister corrected

"I didn't." she pushed her food around in her plate pensive "Don't get me wrong, you know I love Alyssa and I've seen how much she makes your life better but I'm not like you, Rhonda, probably I'm not like most women and I'm tired of considering it a bad thing"

"I know that. What happened with Harvey then?"

"I told him I needed space, that I was going to sleep at my place. The next day he made a jealous scene about a client who - yes, he had always had a thing for me - but Harvey was out of line"

"He was scared of losing you"

"We had a big fight and he came to my place at 3am drunk and miserable wanting to talk"

"Did you sort things out?"

"Actually no. He wanted to take everything he said about having a baby back and I told him I wasn't going to accept it, because he can't rush a decision so important just to keep me"

"I get it but what would you have done in his shoes? The woman he has been chasing and loving for twenty years was leaving him"

"I wasn't leaving him! I just asked him some time and space"

"We all know what that means with you, Jess" Rhonda took a forkful of her pasta "He knows you more than you can imagine"

Jessica run a hand through her long hair placing them behind her shoulders "And that's not all. He pushed me to go to dinner with him the night after, we had a great time and all of a sudden we were fighting again… when I asked him to respect my boundaries and give me time he gave me an ultimatum and we broke up"

Rhonda almost spit the wine out "I didn't think it was that bad! I thought it was just a bad moment for you two"

Jessica lowered her head staring at her plate "He said he couldn't wait for me forever and I agreed with him"

"Jess…" Rhonda squeezed her sister's hand on the table "Why? Why didn't you try harder with him?"

"He wanted to pretend nothing happened but it did happen! He wants something I can't give him and I don't want him to regret it, even if he says I'm what he wants, what he needs more than anything else"

"Did you ask yourself why you don't believe him?"

"Because if he changed his mind and left me, I…"

Rhonda looked in her sister's misty eyes and did know what she meant.

"I'm so sorry Jess. You two love each other so much, it's hard to believe you can't find a compromise. When all of this happened?"

"A month ago. I threw myself into work then, I didn't want to see anyone, I was licking my wounds trying to survive every day at work seeing him. I started going swimming, exercising helps me and two days ago he showed up at the pool on top of our building and then…" she paused unable to continue

"Jessica… this is not you"

"Don't I know it?"

"You should talk to him"

"I tried to avoid him as much as I could these two days. I'm afraid of what I could do…"

"You miss him, it's normal"

"I didn't say that"

"I'm your sister, you don't need to tell me things"

Jessica smiled and it was the first genuine smile in days. It was incredible how her sister could get her, her thoughts and emotions without her saying anything: it was her bond, greater than anything she has ever experienced. She was so grateful for Rhonda's presence in her life.

"Thank you"

"You don't need to thank me, I'll always be here for you. That's what sisters do" Rhonda sipped her wine before continuing "You want to know what I think?"

"No, but I'm sure you'll tell me anyway" Jessica said amused

"Harvey's a keeper, he's the one and you know it. It's worth risking your heart for him"

Jessica shook her head

"I know what you're about to say" Rhonda went on "But you've protected yourself all your life sis and he makes you happy, he loves you and accepts you for who you are. Don't you think you should give him the benefit of the doubt?"

"It's just that I don't know how to go back to the way we were before"

"Maybe you don't have to. Maybe we two have to start anew"

"When did you become so wise?" she chuckled

"I'm a mother now, I've to pretend to know things" Rhonda laughed

"You're crazy"

"I love you too!"

The Pearsons sisters hugged and parted ways, the chauffeured car drove Jessica home. The city's lights were shining through her window, New York was the most beautiful place in the world to her, the city where she was raised, where she found her true calling, where she got to the top of her game and the city where she met the love of her life.

Talking to Rhonda really helped Jessica to see the situation under a different perspective… Harvey had done everything he could to prove himself to her since he started courting her, she was the one who set limits, who was hesitant, he had always put her first. Deep down she knew he was worthy, that their love was worth risking everything. She was about to get her phone from her purse when it started ringing…

"Hello, Jessica Pearson?"

"Yes, who is it?"

"I'm Doctor Parker, I'm calling from The Mount Sinai Hospital. You're Harvey Specter's emergency contact?"

Her heart skipped a beat

"What happened?" she barely whispered

"There has been an accident…"

 **To be continued…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello guys! Sorry for the long wait but it wasn't easy for me to write this chapter and I've to admit I wasn't also very inspired. I do hope to get back on track with the following ones and thanks for sticking to this story! Reviews are always welcome!**

The crazy drive to the hospital, the run into the ER, doctors and nurses walking by her, everything seemed to go too fast or too slow and Jessica was losing clarity of thought. She asked the receptionist about Harvey but the blood was pounding in her ears preventing her to fully grasp the answer, she felt confused, underwater, _lost_.

Harvey Specter crashed his vintage Ferrari against a wall resulting in injuries so serious the doctors didn't know if he could make it and he was in surgery at the moment. Seated in the waiting room, Jessica stared at emptiness for what looked like hours before Donna and Louis arrived, they tried to talk to her, to bring her water or coffee but she wasn't reacting at all.

 _He might die…_ that was all she could think about, she could lose the man she loved without him knowing how much he meant to her, without him knowing she wanted to make things right between them. She was petrified, she couldn't move a single muscle fearing she might fell to pieces, even breathing was painful but imagining her life without him was the worst pain of it all.

What was the last thing she said to him? She wrecked her brain trying to focus on that, trying to distract herself. Did they talk about work? Probably yes, but she tried to avoid him after the _incident_ at the pool… could she really describe having sex with him as an "incident"? What was wrong with her? Maybe the last thing she told him was they were over, yes that interaction was the last memory she had of him, _of them_. Everything looked so stupid in front of the possibility of his premature departure: their current situation, their misunderstanding, the ultimatum, their break-up, everything meant nothing if she lost him.

Jessica could her head pounding, too many thoughts, too many feelings, too much pain, she couldn't bear them anymore, she just wanted Harvey to be okay. She decided to step outside for a moment, the crispy air of the night was like a slap on the face; Madison Avenue was busy as usual, taxis and cars' drivers were honking trying to move in the traffic… every single thing around her looked the same, the world kept turning on its axis, except that the man she loved was in surgery and she didn't know if she was ever going to talk to him again.

 _Denial_. Harvey Specter was still breathing - as far as she knew - but she was already going through the grieve's stages. When did she become so negative? When did she lose hope? Most of all, why couldn't she be strong for him?

They called her inside, the doctor came with an update on Harvey.

"Harvey Specter's family?"

"I'm his… I'm his emergency contact" Jessica sighed

"Mister Specter's accident caused multiple injuries and an internal bleeding. We've been able to stop it but he went into cardiac arrest twice, he's in a medically induced coma at the moment"

"Is… is he going to be okay?"

"We have to wait 24 hours and see how he's going to respond to treatments"

"Can we see him?"

"One at the time, he needs to rest"

Stepping into the room Jessica wasn't prepared for what she saw. Harvey was connected to many different tubes pushing oxygen into his lungs, painkillers and other medicines into his veins. Cuts and bruises stained his pale skin, the beeping of the machines were the only echoing sound in the silent room while he laid almost lifeless in that small bed.

Jessica swallowed a sob, her trembling hand covered her mouth but she couldn't stop the tears anymore. She sat near his bed silently crying, her shaking hands took his and her mouth covered it in small kisses.

 _I'm so sorry Harvey, I'm so sorry_ she whispered to him hoping he could hear her, feel her presence. Jessica kept talking to him, telling him all the things she wanted to say but she didn't, how she was about to call him when she received that terrible call from the hospital.

 _I love you, I don't wanna lose you, please Harvey come back to me…_

* * *

 **72 hours later…**

72 hours and three showers in the sterile bathroom attached to Harvey's room.

The hot water hit her like small needles pinching her numb body, trying to wake a mind that miles away from there.

72 hours of barely eating, barely sleeping and never leaving the side of his bed.

Donna tried to send Jessica home several times but she ended up letting her be and simply stopping by with her change of clothes.

Harvey didn't show any sign of waking up and the more hours passed the more panic started insinuating in their mind, especially Jessica's.

Time seemed to stretch to infinity watching him lay in that bed, the beeping of the machines in the background were a sound she became accustomed to. Jessica felt like she failed him, what if she called him before the accident? What if she hadn't taken so long to make a decision about them? Maybe the accident would have never happened, maybe he'd have been with her instead of being in that _damn_ car!

The only moment she stepped outside to breathe some fresh air was when doctors run their daily tests on Harvey, for an hour or so each day she could pretend _they_ still had a normal life or they would have been able to have it again.

If the firm was still standing - she had to admit - it was thanks to Louis who took his role very seriously, taking care of the clients and all the other tasks a name partner had to be able to deal with. Donna was a huge help, she had to be because they all knew Jessica wasn't in the right state of mind to think of anything else but Harvey.

Jessica was buttoning her blouse when she heard Harvey emitting a small sound, she rushed to his bed just in time to see his eyelids moving…

"Harvey! Harvey, baby, I'm here!"

"Jess…" he whispered with hoarse voice

She pushed the emergency button "Welcome back my love"

 **To be continued…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello guys, I'm back with chapter 9! I know it's taking me so long to write this ff but please be patient with me! Reviews and comments are always welcome! :)**

The following months were incredibly tough. Harvey had to go through a long rehabilitation followed by physical therapy and Jessica was by his side every step of the way.

As soon as he was discharged from the hospital, she moved back to the loft in order to take care of him and she even started working from home despite Harvey's objections: he was a very proud man and hated being seen like that, being in a position to need help.

Since he came back home, the Harvey who wanted nothing more than having her back turn into someone else, someone moody, angry and his constant mood swings proved to be quite challenging for Jessica. She tried to be sympathetic, she understood his frustration and impatience because he was in pain and wasn't able to take care of himself but sometimes it was too much.

That Monday was one of the many days Harvey woke up in a bad mood and did nothing to hide it.

"You don't need to come with me every time" Harvey remarked "I don't need a baby sitter"

Ray was driving them to his usual appointment with the therapist when apparently he couldn't hold off the inappropriate comment. They were stuck in Manhattan's traffic which irritated Harvey even more, he hated being late as much as he hated the constant honking of the other drivers.

Jessica sighed "I come with you because I want to support you"

"Well you can't! I'm not your charity case! Is it why you came back? Because you feel sorry for me?"

"Harvey stop! You don't get to talk to me like that! I'm being very patient with you but you're crossing the line"

"You know what? Stop being fucking patient! I didn't ask you to take care of me, you're doing it to clear your conscience!"

"What did you just say?" she hissed

"Whatever"

"Do repeat what you said, I dare you!" she said firmly

Harvey turned around, looked her straight in the eyes and sneered "Did I touch a sore spot?"

"Ray stop the car!"

"Miss Pearson?" the driver asked confused

"I said STOP THE CAR now!"

Ray slammed on the brakes and Jessica took her purse "Screw you, Harvey!" and shut the door.

Treacherous tears started spilling from eyes while she walked away on the cold concrete. It was all too much and she couldn't bear it anymore, she didn't know how mean and vicious he could be until that moment, that was not the Harvey she knew and fell in love with, could he really resent her so much? What has she done to deserve that? Since they started dating they had been through so many ups and downs, his car accident seemed to be the worst of them all but maybe she was wrong, because she didn't know what to do anymore, she didn't know how to help him if he didn't want to be helped.

Jessica brushed her tears away and hailed a cab to go to the firm. Everybody was surprised to see her since she usually stopped by later during the day but she kept her smile in place saying everything was fine and she'd have worked there instead of home today. She asked her secretary not to be bothered her unless it was really important and tried to bury herself into the work but she couldn't focus, Harvey's words hurt so deeply and she felt so sad. He had no idea how much his accident affected her, how terrified she was to even breathe in case something bad happened again… endless nights without sleep, checking if he was still breathing and then when he was awake he treated her like garbage. That was her life now.

She was too proud to cry in her office and even if she wasn't, she was scared that if she started she wouldn't have been able to stop.

The day finally came to an end and when it was time to leave the office Jessica struggled deciding whether to go back to the loft or not. Clearly Harvey didn't deserve her care but she couldn't help it, she needed to know how he was doing…

"Oh you're back" he said flat sitting on the couch

"I wanted to see if you were okay or needed anything"

"I don't need anything"

"From me, right?" she snapped "It was what you were about to say, weren't you?"

"Why are you really here, Jessica? Because I don't think you came back to fight"

"I came back to talk like an adult. You hurt me, you deeply hurt me today" her voice trembled

Standing at the other side of the room with her coat on her hands she felt naked, exposed under his hard stare. He looked tired, annoyed and sad, yes he looked sad too.

"Maybe because I told you the truth"

"Your truth!"

"Isn't it obvious I'm your charity case? Don't deny it, you treat me like a patient not like your man!"

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not invalid, I just have a broken leg and knee and all these months every time I tried to initiate sex you pulled away"

"Oh so this is about sex?" she erupted "I've been humiliated in front of your driver because you don't get laid! Are you kidding me?"

"Why are you here if you don't want me? If you don't want to be with me?" he yelled

"I am here because I love you, you asshole! And I pulled away because I wanted you to recover first, because the first time we made love again had to count something after all that happened!"

Harvey stayed silent staring at the tears on her face. Pride was the last thing on her mind, she was exhausted, tired of constant worrying about him, of his health, of his recovery, tired of keeping it together when the fear she felt that night didn't leave her for a second.

"We didn't have a chance to talk since you came back home. You are always so annoyed, so angry and you didn't even notice I tiptoe around you because I don't want to piss you off but you're mad at me anyway, you find a reason anyway, you name it! What have I done for you to hate me so much?" she sobbed

"I don't hate you"

"Yes you do! Otherwise there's no reason for you to treat me like this" she hastily brushed the tears away "The night of your car crush I went out for dinner with my sister… I was about to call you when I received the call from the hospital, it was the worst night of my life, you were so deeply injured they thought you wouldn't have made it. It was a nightmare, all I wanted is for you to be okay, to recover, I wanted to be able to tell you that I loved you and I wanted to be with you. I spent so much time thinking that maybe if I called you sooner… maybe…" she paused patting her eyes with a tissue "And when you said that I was with you to clear my conscience… it was too much!"

"I'm sorry Jess"

"This car accident didn't affect you only but you're so focused on your anger you don't see anybody else! I was terrified of losing you, I still am…"

"Come here"

She left the coat on the marble counter and reached the leather chair sitting across him in order to keep some distance between them

"Please Jess…"

She gently shook her head "I can't be close to you right now"

He sighed "What I told you this morning… I'm so sorry, I was sad and I was mean. This is not who I am, I'm not used to need help and this situation made me question us and seeing you pull away from me I…"

"These are your insecurity issues talking"

"They are as much as you think it was your fault because you didn't call sooner. It's none's fault Jessica, it happened and we're dealing with it right now, maybe I'm not doing it in the right way and I apologize for all the times I vented my frustration and my anger on you, you don't deserve it"

"No, I definitely don't"

"We should have talked sooner, no one knew what the other was thinking or fearing"

"I want to be with you, Harvey but I can't go on like this…"

"I promise you, I do promise you that I'll be better, we're still adjusting and it's hard"

"You need to know that I won't keep closing an eye only because you're struggling"

"I know and I'm so sorry. Come here please"

Jessica moved to his side careful not to hurt him and he kissed her deeply

"I thought you weren't coming back…"

"Don't do something like that again"

"I won't, I love you too" he kissed her again and again and again "So… are you really going to make me wait until I'm fully recovered?" he whispered kissing her neck

"Yes, you're going to wait. Hands to yourself Mister Specter"

"Do you have any idea how _hard_ it is?" he smirked

"You're a horrible man!" she laughed "And you don't deserve any _additional help_ …"

"What about you? Do you want any _additional help_?"

She bit her lip "It wouldn't be fair"

"I'm offering" he smiled

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"What? At least one of us is going to enjoy the moment!"

"Stop it!" she laughed and brushed his face "This is the man I fell in love with, I was afraid he was gone"

"He's still here, he has a precarious balance and moves with crutches but he's still here" he kissed her nose and her forehead tenderly

"Did you already eat?"

"Not yet. Chinese?"

"Yes, please"

Half an hour later they were still sitting on the couch enjoying chinese food. It looked like the storm has passed but the wounds were still fresh and needed time to heal, physically and emotionally ones.

 **To be continued…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello, I'm back, I'm so sorry for the long wait but I've been abroad for the holidays! I know you probably lost interest in the story but I still hope you'll stick with me until the end. The next chapter is going to be the last! Reviews are always welcome! :)**

At the beginning of the new year Harvey was finally back on his feet and his doctor signed him off on going back to work. The relationship between Harvey and Jessica had incredibly improved since their big fight and they were finally able to comunicate with each other every time something bothered them. Life was good, it really looked like they were finally out of the woods.

"Are you excited to come back?" Jessica asked sweetly

She was getting ready for the day walking around the room in her lingerie and Harvey couldn't help but shamelessly staring at her. She was gorgeous, beautiful like someone who was aware of it but who didn't give it much of a thought, she was a natural beauty and she was _his_.

"Harvey, are you listening to me?" she smiled amused

"No, actually no. I was busy doing something else…" he smirked

"I noticed…"

He came closer loosely keeping his hands on her hips "So tonight is _the night_?"

She bit her lip smiling "Yes, tonight is the night"

"Can't look forward to it…" he whispered in her ear giving her goosebumps

"I've to finish getting dressed or we're going to be late"

"Okay okay, coffee?"

"Yes, please!"

* * *

Little did Harvey know that Jessica planned a "welcome back" party and as soon as they arrived at the office everybody was waiting for them to celebrate.

Jessica was happy to see him finally back in his element, at the firm, enjoying the love of his friends and colleagues.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, she was so focused on the job she didn't realize it was time to go until a certain handsome lawyer knocked at her door…

"Time to go" he said leaning on the door frame

"Already?" she asked surprised "What time is… wow it's already 7pm"

"Yeah"

"You're ready to go?"

"I have a surprise for you" he smiled "Take the car, go home and change into something spectacular, Ray knows where to drive you"

"What about you?"

"I'm going to finish some things here. Ray will text me when you're ready and I'll meet you there"

"Harvey…"

"Jessica, don't worry. I'm going to be okay"

She sighed leaving her desk and packing her things "Fine, I'm going. See you later"

"Later" he said and kissed her "I love you"

"Love you too"

Jessica left and she could feel butterflies bubbling in her stomach for the excitement, she knew that night was "the night", they talked about it but she had no idea he'd have made such a big deal. _Change into something spectacular_ … what did he mean? Cocktail dress, formal dress? She was about to text him but she was sure he was clueless about it, she sighed smiling.

As soon as she arrived home she retouched her make-up and put some pins in the back of her head so her long waves would fall on one shoulder. The dress' choice was the hardest part, she didn't know what to wear rummaging through her closet and then she saw it, the one and only dress she had been waiting forever to wear: a long-sleeves mermaid gown with an elegant drop neckline and a central split, small midnight blue sequins adorned the entire length enhancing the silhouette. She looked at herself in the mirror hoping she wasn't too overdressed, after all she couldn't find something more spectacular than that. She wore her nude Louboutins matching them with a nude clutch, her red lipstick was already on… she was ready!

During the car drive Ray was making small talk, he could tell Jessica was nervous but also curious, she was fishing for information but he couldn't tell her anything, it had to be a surprise. The car stopped and Ray opened the door for her telling her to head to 30th floor, Harvey was already there.

When she finally arrived to the 30th floor she finally understood where she was, the Skylark hostess welcomed her, took her fur and escorted her to the gentleman waiting for her. The place was empty, the light was dimmed, soft jazz music was playing in the background, Harvey, in his smoking, was waiting for her with a red rose in his hand and the breathtaking view of Manhattan's lights behind his back.

"Oh my God Harvey! You booked the entire place!"

"I did" he kissed her handing her the rose "By the way you are gorgeous!"

"Thanks" she smiled "I can't believe you did this"

"You deserve it! Shall we eat?"

"Sure"

During the dinner the conversation flowed easily, drinking Champagne and eating the best delicacies the restaurant could offer. In that moment they were in their own bubble where nothing else existed, they were celebrating a new beginning, a new start, they were together, stronger than ever.

After dessert, Harvey invited Jessica to go outside to enjoy the spectacular view, he took her hand in his stepping on the terrace. The Empire State Building was towering and shining in all its beauty in the cold night, it was a night they'd have remembered and despite the nervousness he was ready.

Harvey kissed their entwined hands and looked adoringly at her "I want to thank for everything you've done for me in the past months Jessica and I'm sorry if sometimes I took you for granted or didn't treat the way you deserve. I know I can be stubborn and very difficult to deal with but I can't imagine my life without you, I can't imagine a life without your smile, your smart mouth, your love. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm nothing without you so…" he bent on his knee "Jessica Lourdes Pearson will you do me the honor to be my wife?"

Harvey opened a small blue Tiffany box showing the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen: a cushion shaped halo diamond engagement ring.

"Oh Harvey, yes! Yes, I'll marry you"

He kissed her hard putting the ring on her finger

"I waited to be able to bend on my knee to do this" he joked

"Oh baby, I love you"

"I love you more"

"Bring me home, _fiancé_ "

"Your wish is my command"

* * *

They barely managed to keep their hands off each other but all the bets were off as soon as they arrived home. They started kissing and undressing all the way to the bedroom when Jessica pushed a half naked Harvey on the bed smirking…

"I'm going to freshen up, I'll be right back"

When she emerged from the bathroom Harvey's heart almost stopped. Her long waves were now falling behind her shoulders and her gorgeous body was encased in a white see-through lace bodysuit that left very few to imagination… she was breathtaking! He swallowed hard, he had waited for this to happen for so long and there she was, _his fiancé_ , walking towards him with a predatory gleam in her eyes. Harvey already took his clothes off laying on the bed only in his boxer and Jessica didn't wast any time straddling his waist, pushing their groins together eliciting a low growl from him. She claimed his mouth again, battling with his tongue before moving to his jaw, biting his neck in a playful way, licking his hot skin until she reached his nipples. She kept kissing her way down to his body, lower and lower licking the patch of skin under his boxer; she took them off with Harvey's help and started pumping his already hard erection, she smirked before taking him in her mouth. _God Jessica_ … he moaned surrendering to her sweet tortures while she kept sucking him in her hot, tight mouth, hollowing her cheeks to push him further down. It would have been so easy to let go, to indulge completely in the heady pleasure she was giving him but it wasn't the way he wanted that evening to proceed… she told him she wanted to mean it when they made love again and he wanted to make every second count for her, for _them_.

"Come here baby" he gently caressed her hair "Please…"

Harvey took her in his arms kissing her passionately, tasting his own arousal in her mouth, he wanted her more and more each minute passing, it had been so long, _too long_ and he wasn't even sure how long he could last.

 _I want you so badly…_ he groaned between heated kisses hastily removing her bodysuit, wanting to touch more naked skin as possible. Jessica could see how worked up he was, he was on fire and she had never felt so madly wanted by him, it was a powerful feeling, it was consuming and _so them_. She straddled his lap taking his beautiful face in her hands and kissed him slowly while lowering herself on him, taking him fully inside her. They both moaned at the sudden contact, her foreheads touching for a moment when time stilled and there was only them, together, connected again.

 _I love you…_ she whispered in his ear before starting to move, setting a rhythm Harvey matched, his hands roaming on her hot body and his mouth sucking her perky breasts. It was a blur, an exploding fire, the race to reach their high was frenzied, their rhythm increased and so their moans, it was so good, too good after all that abstinence and Jessica was right to wait, it was definitely worth it. She was so close Harvey could feel it so his hand moved between them brushing her clit fast enough to make her fall over the edge; he followed her soon after.

 _I love you Jess_ … he said laying down with her on his chest, wrapping his arms protectively around her shivering body.

They fell asleep like that, entangled in each other's body, happy and satiated.

 **To be continued…**


	11. Chapter 11

**This is the last chapter guys! It's been a long ride, I know, I haven't always been inspired to write this story, it's harder when your ship is not canon and it's not even in the same show anymore but I've made it! :D**

 **This is a very special, emotional and important chapter to me… thanks to Kina Grannis and her incredible interpretation of "Can't help falling in love" which helped me write and to Prince Harry and his "I'm so lucky…" to Meghan on their wedding day. I do hope you like it! Enjoy & reviews are more than welcome! **

Harvey was adjusting his shirt's cufflinks in front of the mirror, an early wedding present from Jessica. Today was _the day_ , he was getting married to the love of his life and to say he was nervous was an understatement.

When they started planning the wedding he had just one request, he wanted to marry her the day they met twenty years before, _June 26._ He remembered that June 26, 1994 like it was yesterday: he had to use all his bravado when talking to her about that associate who backdated the postage because her beauty was astonishing and he was bewitched; it wasn't just lust, he had fallen over the heels in love with her from day one. He smiled at himself in the mirror, twenty years of previously unrequited feelings, of being treated like a _boy_ , of feeling unworthy and undeserving of her because she was a goddess and he could only stare from afar, they had been through everything only to get to that moment, to that special day… it was worth the ride, the ups and downs, the heartache because she was the one and she would always have been.

"Everything okay, man?" Mike's voice broke his reverie

"Yes, almost done"

"Good because it's time"

Harvey took a deep breath to steady his crazy heartbeat. When he proposed to Jessica asking Mike to be his best man was an obvious choice and he took the role seriously, especially taking care of his bachelor party…

"Come on," Mike patted him on the back "Let's get you married!"

Harvey and Mike stepped out the outdoor rooftop garden, the guests had already arrived, he saw his family and all of his and Jessica's friends already settled on white chairs, waiting to celebrate their happiness. They had wanted an intimate wedding, especially because it was the second time for Jessica so they decide to invite only the people they really cared about and they were all there.

The sun was slowly going down making New York City's view even more breathtaking. Harvey and Mike took their spot and after few moments a soothing female voice invaded the space…

 _Wise men say only fools rush in_ _b_ _ut I can't help falling in love with you_

 _Shall I stay? Would it be a sin_ _i_ _f I can't help falling in love with you?_

His nice and nephewslowly walked towards him holding the rings' cushion and leaving white rose petals on their way, they were so cute in their elegant small dresses. Mike took the rings smiling at the kids who went back to their mom.

 _Like a river flows surely to the sea_ _d_ _arling so it goes_ _s_ _ome things are meant to be_ _…_

Jessica's bridesmaids, her sister Rhonda, Rachel and Donna, dressed in soft pink gowns walked down the aisle before taking their seats. Rhonda, being the maid of honor, stopped near the small archway waiting for the bride.

 _Take my hand, take my whole life too_ _f_ _or I can't help falling in love with you_

Jessica appeared in her beautiful taffeta off-the-shoulder gown. The white dress was simple and elegant without being too decorative, the pleated off-the-shoulder neckline showed her cleavage, shoulders and long neck, the tight bodice enhanced her curves opening in a mermaid skirt. Her long hair were tied in a complicated hairdo, small white pearls were pinned all over them. She decided not to wear the veil and chose a bouquet of white calla lilies for her the occasion. Harvey couldn't help but tear up, his eyes were watery while staring at the love of his life walking towards him.

 _You're gorgeous_ he whispered when she was in front of him _I'm so lucky…_

A super emotional Louis, in his tailored smoking, was ready to officiate the ceremony. They remembered the day they asked him to do it, being Louis he was in tears even before saying yes and bear-hugged them both.

"Welcome family, friends and loved ones. We're here today to celebrate the love of two wonderful people, Jessica and Harvey, to share this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer love and support to this union and allow them to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them. Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships but I've known you both for a very long time and I'm well aware of the difficult path you had to walk to be here today so I know how strong your love is, how committed you both are to each other and the life you're building together. You can exchange the vows now"

"Jessica… for the first moment I've seen you I knew you were the one. I have been loving you for twenty years and I had never thought I'd be lucky enough to have you, to be able to love you freely; you were so unreachable and I didn't feel worthy, sometimes I still don't but you're here despite all you had to put up with me…" Harvey's voice cracked and Jessica bit her lip in order not to cry "I owe you everything, you made me the man I am, the man I couldn't dream of being, you took a chance on me all those years ago, you did one more time when you agreed to marry me and you're doing it today, thank you! I promise you to be the best husband and man you deserve, to support you and make your life a dream come true every single day like you do to mine. You're my best friend, my partner, my queen, the best thing that ever happened to me, the most remarkable, stubborn, incredible, beautiful woman I'ever met and I love you, I do love you with all myself. Always and forever"

"Harvey… you told me many times that I took a chance on you giving you everything, changing your life but doing so you changed mine, you changed me. I've never thought I could love someone as deeply as I love you and it scared me so much that I denied it myself for so long, focusing on myself, my career, my accomplishments and you were there every step of the way, sharing victories and defeats with me, always by side, always watching my back. You have been a constant presence in my life, a reference point, my rock, my partner in 'crime' and in life and I'm proud of you, of the man you've become, the man I love, who had been able to change all of my beliefs about relationships and marriage and who deserves all my love and commitment. In you, I found someone who shares my same passion for the law, the same drive, the same way to live on his own terms without apologizing for that, I'm so grateful for you. I promise you to love you and be by your side through the beautiful rollercoaster that is our life, to laugh and cry together, to value and cherish each moment with you as if it was the last. Thank you for loving me and accepting me for the person I am, you value my virtues as much as my flaws, you make me feel the most loved, cherished and wanted woman in the world and I…" Jessica sighed trying to stop the tears "I'd never want to share the rest of my life with anyone but you. I love you with all my heart. Always and forever"

Jessica and Harvey shared a long loving stare, smiling to each other.

"Now it's time to express your commitment to each other." Louis said "Do you Harvey, take Jessica as your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" Harvey responded

"Do you Jessica, take Harvey as your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and to be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"

"I do" she whispered smiling at him

Mike handed the rings to Louis who continued "Each repeat after me: With this ring I wed you, as a symbol of my love and commitment to you"

Harvey took the ring taking Jessica's hand in his "Jessica with this ring I wed you, as a symbol of my love and commitment to you" and kissed her hand

"Harvey with this ring I wed you, as a symbol of my love and commitment to you"

"In the presence of family and friends you have expressed your love for one another and so now by the power vested in me by the State of New York, it is my honor and delight to declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Harvey took Jessica in his arms and kissed her long and deep among the cheers of their family and friends. New York's light were starting to shine on them making the moment even more special and surreal…

Jessica whispered in his ear smiling "You're stuck with me now Mister Specter"

"As long as I'm with you, there's no place I'd rather be Mrs Specter"

"I love you, fool"

"Love you too, smart mouth"

Harvey Specter, the best closer of New York and known womanizer, was out of the market. He finally married the woman who stole his heart in the city where they met all those years ago and he couldn't be happier, he felt whole and complete now. Life was perfect.

 **The end**


End file.
